Mike Pence Is a F*cking A$*hole

(ANTIMEDIA Op-ed) U.S. Vice President Mike Pence is a fucking asshole — for more than one reason.

Most Americans who aren’t also assholes have known about Mike Pence for while. He thinks you can “cure” gay people with therapy — as if being gay is a condition in need of a remedy. He thinks gayness can be “prayed away,” but this is old news. Mike Pence is a theocratic douche who wants to marry government with church and govern like it’s 1999…B.C.

The media rightly criticizes him over these horrible political ideas.

But there’s something Mike Pence just did that makes him an asshole of international proportions — and it’s earned him the praise of the Washington Post, which literally called him a “superhero” for it. So what did Pence do that has gained him favor from the “liberal” media? He’s been trying to start a war with North Korea.

That’s right: Mike Pence went to the Winter Olympics in South Korea with the stated intention of foiling the peace process between the two Koreas. Or as WaPo put it:

Pence had transformed himself into something of an anti-propaganda warrior — a mild-mannered, if resolute, superhero who arrived in South Korea on the eve of the Winter Games to single-handedly rebuff North Korea’s public relations efforts.”

So what did he do exactly? Well, he condemned North Korean military parades as acts of provocation (while hilariously defending Trump’s plan to have his own American military parade). In Japan, on his way to the Olympics, he touted “the toughest and most aggressive” sanctions yet against North Korea while rallying U.S. troops (still occupying Japan 72 years later) against “the rogue regime in North Korea.”

“We’ll continue to seize every opportunity to ensure that North Korea does not use the powerful imagery and backdrop of the Olympics to paper over an appalling record of human rights and a pattern of developing weapons and conducting the kind of missile launches that are threatening our nation and threatening neighbors across the region,” the Washington Post’s superhero lamented.

But hold up. Let me breakdown the complete idiocy of that statement.

 Pence doesn’t want North Korea hijacking a sporting event to spread pro-government propaganda, which is a fair criticism. However, this is the same douchebag that walked out of an NFL football game over players kneeling during the national anthem, which apparently disrupted the American brand of pro-government propaganda Mike Pence favors.

— He slams North Korea over its human rights record, which is also fair. However, the United States has the largest prison population in the world and employs prison labor. Our institutionally racist, militarized police have been killing over 1,000 people a year since accurate record-keeping of the deaths was initiated. The U.S. also operates a prison called Guantanamo Bay where suspected terrorists are regularly tortured, and Homan Square, the “black site” where Americans are ‘disappeared‘ into and tortured, is still operating in Chicago. These are the same violations of freedom the U.S. accuses North Korea of committing. Ironic to say the least.

— Sure, North Korea’s “rocket man” has been developing missiles and nuclear technology, but are they really “threatening our nation and threatening neighbors across the region,” as Pence claims? Hardly. North Korea launches unarmed rockets into the fucking ocean. Maybe Kim Jong-un has killed a few fish. Wow! America, as we recently reported, has up to 1,000 military bases in 80 different countries. North Korea doesn’t have any military bases outside of its borders. The United States is currently bombing at least seven nations and is conducting covert military operations from the Congo to the Philippines. North Korea shoots blanks into the ocean. The U.S. fires live munitions into civilian population centers. The U.S.-led war against Iraq is responsible for at least one million dead Iraqis. North Korea’s unarmed missile campaign against the Pacific Ocean is responsible for maybe five dead sardines — and that’s being generous.

All this comes amid the backdrop of North and South Korea finally on the verge of mending ties and making peace on the peninsula, a wonderful development for the prospects of world peace and stability in the region. The Koreas have formed a joint Olympic team that marched together during the opening ceremony (for which Mike Pence disrespectfully refused to stand). Kim Jong-un invited South Korean President Moon Jae-in — who campaigned on restoring peace with the North — to Pyongyang for an official state visit, a clear sign of improving ties. And talk of reunifying the Koreas is spreading.

Peace may finally break out on the Korean Peninsula if this asshole Mike Pence can just get the fuck out of the way. Perhaps Pence would do better looking into the mirror than sticking his nose into the business of sovereign nations on the other side of the world that have not attacked the United States. And to the Washington Post, I’ve got some breaking news: Being a warmonger is not the stuff “superheroes” are made of, dumbasses.

Op-ed / Creative Commons / Anti-Media / Report a typo

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